My name is Jan, and I'm judgmental.

[jan_andrea]

Yes, it's true: I judge people. Often without even knowing what their circumstances are. Here's a short list of the people I judge (poorly). Not related to any particular incident -- just for the record. Feel free to add your own, because no matter how lovey-dovey, culturally relativist, and/or sensitive we pretend to be, everyone is, at heart, judgmental. And because I am judgmental, I am also certain to be offensive, so if you are afraid of being offended, don't read this.

I judge parents who smoke with their kids in the car... and parents who smoke... and frankly, people who smoke, period.
I judge parents who strap their kids in a carseat all day and ignore them when they cry.
I judge parents who circumcise their baby boys, or pierce their baby girl's ears, or make other permanent physical alterations to children who can't give informed consent.
I judge parents who prop a bottle in their baby's carseat while they shop.
I judge mothers who choose not to breastfeed when they are physically capable of doing so.
I judge parents who don't discipline their children when said children are terrorizing smaller children at the playground.
I judge people who ride motorcycles without wearing a helmet (it's legal in NH).
I judge people who cheat on their partners. Scratch that, I judge people who cheat, period.
I judge people who drag their children to church/temple/mosque/whatever before their children are capable of understanding what's being fed to them.
I judge people who stare at me when I'm wearing Sophie in a sling, wrap, or mei tai.
I judge stupid people. And ignorant people.
I judge NASCAR fans. And "Desperate Housewives" fans (yes, I know, Mom). And fans of junk TV of all stripes... including myself, when I was hooked on junk TV.
I judge cultures and subcultures where stupidity and ignorance are culturally acceptable or are considered "normal", especially if it means doing stupid or ignorant things to your children (like the abovementioned whatnot).
I judge people who judge other people's sexual behaviour and then try to legislate it away (I'm talking to you, The South).
I judge the fucking Phelps family to be a particularly egregious example of how inbreeding and religion can screw you up.
I judge WalMart for aiding and abetting the systematic persecution and/or subjugation of an entire country's citizens... take your pick, really.
I judge people who send me emails asking questions that are already answered if they would just bother to read a little bit.
I judge people who don't read.
I judge people who steal ideas and pass them off as their own.
I judge teenagers who do stupid things just because "everyone else does it".
I judge adults who do stupid things just because "everyone else does it".
I judge people who don't vote, especially if they later complain about the results.
I judge people who won't clean up their own messes.
I judge American Christians who claim they are being "persecuted" when in fact they have the most special rights of anyone in the country.
I judge people who are trying to teach religion in place of science.
I judge people who claim that all public schoolchildren are brainwashed zombies. (I like homeschooling, but some homeschoolers get stupid about it.)
I judge all other drivers on the highway, especially the ones who tailgate me when I'm already going over the speed limit.
I judge poor spellers.
I judge those who misuse the English grammar.
I judge people who use 'net abbreviations 24/7 (r u there?).
I judge people who think they have all the answers... including myself.
I judge people who are sanctimonious... including myself.
I judge myself for judging so many people, especially without knowing what their circumstances are.

Who do you judge?

Comments

[kris1225.livejournal.com]

*chuckle* boy, you and I would like each other a lot IRL.

[jan-andrea.livejournal.com]

Well, of course, but who do you judge?? :)

I can make this a friends thread if that's an issue.

[lissie930.livejournal.com]

I'd say I probably do all the same as you, as well as lots of others. I also, in some cases, judge myself far more harshly than others, and in other cases I *should* judge myself more harshly than I do.

I'm trying to use my judging as a spiritual practice...as in, noticing it, not attaching to it, and letting it go. And challenging it, and working to find something to be compassionate about. But damn, that woman I saw holding her baby in her lap as she rode in the passenger seat of her car, no seat belt, smoking? Yeah, big ole judgements there!

[mollyf.livejournal.com]

Having chronic low self esteem prevents me from having too much trouble being judgemental.

I tend to judge people who do the things I've worked hardest to avoid, like smoking. I judge smokers since I quit (even though I'm one cigarette away from being an addict again.) I used to judge overweight people when I was on a diet all the time. You become what you hate* sometimes, so I try to be judicious with the judgment.

*Henry Rollins quote, I forget which spoken word album

Who do I judge?

[pudgybudgie.livejournal.com]

Judges. I don't trust anyone who wears a robe as daywear.

[mix3d3m0ti0n5.livejournal.com]

i heart you. I mean, yes, it's wrong to judge, but hell, you read my mind. it's hard to ignore such things many days.

[joy-disaster.livejournal.com]

My judging dropped way down in most areas after I had a kid - before that EVERY parent was under my microscope. Every one! Now I just get aggravated by the things you mostly mentioned because I don't understand, you know? I don't understand how someone carries a baby in a car seat, I don't get it. Or why someone doesn't think breastfeeding is important. Or why someone wants to drive an H2, or tailgate and whiz around aggressively on the highway like the road belongs solely to them. I completely and totally can't relate in any way. I think that is why I judge.

Who do you judge?

[brunahildm.livejournal.com]

Mostly me.

[bean77.livejournal.com]

Don't tell anyone but I judge people for not BFing too.

[buzzy-bee.livejournal.com]

I judge people who misspell consent (item 3) ;-) Only joking

I think my list would be pretty similar to yours. I judge myself more harshly than anyone of course.

[jan-andrea.livejournal.com]

D'oh! And that was one of my pet peeves, too! Thanks :)

[poeticdream.livejournal.com]

A lot of times, I'll meet a parent and think, "wow, that person seems pretty cool". Then, I'll find out that their kid spends hours watching tv. Or that their bebe is formula fed. Or things like that. My opinion of them drops so much after that. And I won't bother to get to know them becuase I know we'll clash so much.

[mercy-rain.livejournal.com]

I judge pretty much everyone you do. There's a mom of one of Gabe's classmates, who has a year-old baby and one on the way, and smokes. I really, really want to ask her if she's stupid or just apathetic.

I judge people who drive giant SUVs to tote around their two children, and put "Support Our Troops" and W stickers on them.

I judge myself most of all. I judge myself so much that I punish myself and have to scars to prove it, so other people can see they don't need to punish me, I've done the work already.

[turlog.livejournal.com]

I take exception with your use of the word "judge". It means to form an opinion or conclusion about something, which doesn't necessarily have to be negative. Your use appears to indicate a negative judgement in all cases. Perhaps the word "despise" might be more appropriate.

I'm also curious about the function of this exercise. What's it's purpose for you?

[jan-andrea.livejournal.com]

Just for fun. Because when I'm feeling snarky, LJ is where I go to snark. Anyway, I don't *despise* smokers or formula-feeders or NASCAR fans (etc.) -- I just form judgments about their behaviours before I know why they're doing what they do.

Plus, there was a whole thread called "Hi, I'm a judgmental bitch" on The Perfect World (the forum I hung out at when I still had time to hang out on forums) and I missed that. Group snarking is fun.

[3under3.livejournal.com]

I judge people who misspell "judgemental" (in your mood at the bottom). ;)

Analisa - found you via your website, via a Google for homemade ABCs.

[jan-andrea.livejournal.com]

Argh! I was so careful to spell it correctly through the whole post, even though I type "judgemental" every time and have to go back and take out the "e". Anyway, "judgemental" is considered an alternate spelling ;)

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, sorry about that. :) Anyway, it's nice to meet you. :) I love your user pic.

[3under3.livejournal.com]

P.S. I missed the apparent to-do about not allowing breastfeeding user pics (!!!) Can you link me?

[indigobeej.livejournal.com]

I'm not offended by the Desperate Housewives entry. It's actually not my favorite show, although it might be Turlogs! I like Grey's Anatomy much better - great characters and interesting plot lines. However, Desp.Housewives is meant to be sarcastic, campy, and a satire of its own genre. It's very tongue-in-cheek, humorous, and spoofy.

I mostly "judge" bigots of any kind. People who despise someone because of the color of their skin or their sexual orientation. But I admit to being bigoted towards southern Christians, Fundamentalists, bigots, etc.!

[jan-andrea.livejournal.com]

The "Desperate Housewives" ref. was meant to be tongue-in-cheek anyway ;)

With you entirely about the bigots, though!

[(Anonymous)]

In addition to your list...
I judge parents who refuse to give their children explanations for actions other than "because I am the parent".
I judge parents who bellow and scream when they get angry.
I judge fathers who don't actively participate in parenting.
I judge people who assume my daughter is adopted since she has darker skin than I do.
I judge those same people for giving that ever so ignorantly toned "OHHHHH" when I say she is not adopted as if to say "Oh, she is one of THOSE".
I judge people for asking insensitive and personal questions of those they barely know.
I judge those same people for not getting the hint when my answer to their question "So, where is her father?" is a politely stated "We shot him for asking insensitive questions that were none of his business anyway."
I judge those who judge others based on finances or possessions.
I judge parents with spotless homes. (Do they have time for anything else?)
I judge people who actually tell me that they will have better behaved children one day; children who will do what they are told the "first" time. (Can you hear me chuckle when that plan fails for them?)
I judge people who let their daughters wear sexy thongs, super low-rise jeans (Can anyone say 'whale tail'?), and tight short shirts. (OK, I admit I am conservative and that is one of the few things I do 'force' upon my daughter).
This list could go on and on, but I feel much better now.

In short, I judge. But mostly I judge those who show a lack of respect for others and/or themselves.

Confession

[(Anonymous)]

"I judge parents with spotless homes. (Do they have time for anything else?)"

Living in a resort town with beach clad moms everywhere... I confess, I judge superfit moms. I guess I assume it must take hours on end to look that way.

Honest engine, I think it is a way to not be seething with envy. I like to assume that I might have a bigger butt but I MUST be a better/more involved parent.

Kelly Ann

"Amen!"

[(Anonymous)]

I agree with pretty much everything you said and it's a relief to know that there are still intelligent people out there who think for themselves. I'm so tired of meeting people (esp. mothers) who don't think for themselves and are completely brainwashed and then pass it all onto their children. The worst part is that those people tend to have the most kids (esp. those people who fit everyone of your "judgements").

At least folks like us are procreating and teaching our kids to think for themselves!

Re: "Amen!"

[(Anonymous)]

PS. I also judge people who put "support our troops" stickers on their cars even though, of COURSE, I support our troops. I suppose in a way I "despise" them because they are, most likely, NOT supporting our troops in any way and the money they spent on that sticker doesn't support the troops. Plus they probably voted for Bush (the second time too!) which means they don't actually support our troops because they just, in effect, sent our troops over to Iraq for the long haul.

I judge women who stay at home to be mothers and let their brains go to waste. Being a stay-at-home mom is admirable but you're a constant role model and if you're brain is "vacant" then you're not much to look up to.

I judge people who eat processed foods. (In this case "judge" is the appropriate word since I just want people to know how good food CAN taste and how much better it is for you, easier, and cheaper to eat fresh).

Okay, thanks for a place to vent. Found your journal from looking at your crafts ideas. Can't wait to try them out!

[(Anonymous)]

I'm so glad you are not a judge...!

[jan-andrea.livejournal.com]

Well, in that case, I'd just be upholding the law, wouldn't I? And my personal prejudices would not come within 500 yards of my lawful judgment.

Jeesh.

[pewter-wings.livejournal.com]

Oh goody! A judgemental thread!

Ok, I judge those who think spelling automatically indicates the intelligence of someone. Some people were never given the nescecary spelling tools. Some do spell the phonetic way, but are at a disadvantage due to local pronounciation, most commonly known as accents. Some, up to 3 out of every 10 people are dysleixic. http://www.interdys.org/ Are they stupid? No, they see the words in graphic manners. Often, those who are not strong readers are not strong spellers because they see the world in pictures, not words. Pictures are worth a 1000 words.

I judge breast feeding advocates who never consider the bottle they may see in a childs mouth could be breast milk.

I judge people's sexual orientation when it impacts others. Child molseters just happen to have a different sexual orientation. Choose your words carefully when defending alternative sexual preferences as molseters are using this very tactic. When everyone involved is able to consent, sex is a good thing. Define what you mean.

I judge children who feel the need to beat upon those smaller than themselves. What must thier home life be like?

I judge those who dress thier daughters in nothing but pink. What kind of message are they sending?

[pewter-wings.livejournal.com]

And I judge myself for not checking my spelling before posting.

I judge

[(Anonymous)]

most of what you said.
I'm a partnered (read: lesbian) stay-at-home educated momma to a severely special needs biracial baby.
I judge people who think I'm either uneducated or stupid because I choose to stay home with our precious chosen son.
I judge people who think that gays cannot parent children.
I judge more than I should, but I do it and I admit it.